Broken Glass
by xXxThe Phantom's RosexXx
Summary: Clare's parents' fights turn violent.  When she's caught in the middle, who will be there to pick up the pieces?  And what if his own world is slowly beginning to collapse around him?
1. Chapter 1

BROKEN GLASS

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI

RATING: T FOR VIOLENCE

CHAPTER ONE: CRIMSON

"I HATE YOU, DAN! YOU USELESS, SELFISH, ARROGANT, BASTARD!"

Clare cringed as she heard her parents shouting downstairs. She hated when they fought like this – especially when her mother would get defensive. She knew better than to say things like that. You'd think she'd have learned her lesson after…

_SMASH!_

The sound of a plate hitting and shattering against the wall caused Clare to startle. It was starting. The battle had begun. Who would walk away with the most bruises? Clare would already guess the answer to that question.

"I HATE YOU TINA! YOU LITTLE BITCH! YOU WHORE!"

"WHORE? HOW IRONIC CONSIDERING YOU'RE SLEEPING AROUND WITH A TWENTY-TWO YEAR OLD!"

"MELISSA IS TWENTY-THREE!"

"I HATE YOU!"

_CRASH!_

Another plate. Or maybe a bowl…Clare couldn't tell. She unplugged the laptop from the wall and carried it over to her bed. She snuggled deep within the covers and turned off the light. Maybe she could pretend she was invisible. Just to disappear.

"YOU SLUT!"

"YOU JERK!"

_BANG!_

A fist against bone. Particularly jaw bone. Clare shivered.

"I HATE YOU!"

"WHY DON'T YOU DROP DEAD!"

_SLAP!_

Clare felt her eyes ooze with fresh tears. Why did it have to be like this? It had never been like this up until recently. What had changed? Melissa. Her father's intern at the lawfirm. That's what had changed. She had come into their lives and had flipped everything upside down. Clare hated her.

_PING._

Now that was a new sound. It took Clare a moment to realize that it had come from her laptop. She glanced down at the screen and noticed she had gotten a new IM on facebook. Clare had never liked the idea of facebook, but Ali had insisted upon making one for her.

She glanced to see who the IM was from – Eli. Of course. Clare couldn't explain why her heart suddenly felt like it had wings, as if it had just gulped down a RedBull or something. She slid further under the covers.

Eli: Hey, blue eyes, what's shakin'

Clare: Not much.

Eli: Come on now…surely that's not all the response I'm gonna get outta you!

Clare: My parents are fighting

Eli: Is it bad?

Clare: Sort of…

Eli: Do you want me to come and get you?

Clare: Haha yeah

Eli: You think I'm joking…

Clare: No…I mean…yes…I…

Eli: Only you would bother to stutter in an IM, Clare.

Clare: Bite me.

Eli: Tempting.

Clare: You're a pig.

Eli: And you're a saint.

Clare: Do you have a reason for popping up on my facebook chat? Or was it just to piss me off?

Eli: Oooh…Saint Clare used the term 'pissed' I must be really hitting a nerve.

Clare: I'm gonna sign off now…

Eli: NO! Don't do that. Just…wait. I'll be there in ten minutes.

Clare: What?

Eli Goldsworthy is now offline…

Clare felt the blood rush through her veins. She couldn't just leave! Her parents would kill her. But they sounded a little bit busy now to pay much attention. If she climbed out the back window…wait a minute? Who was she? This wasn't her. Clare didn't climb out windows and sneak off to see boys. But this wasn't a boy. This was Eli. And they were just…acquaintances. Right?

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

"MAKE ME!"

"I'LL CALL THE COPS!"

"YOU FUCKING WHORE!"

Maybe a getaway was what she needed. An escape. Clare didn't know how long she would be gone, but she suspected she should pack some things. She grabbed her backpack and stuffed it full of a t-shirt, socks, underwear, and her toothbrush and toothpaste. She glanced at herself in the mirror before mentally slapping herself.

What was she doing? Why did she care how she looked? What did it matter? Who was she trying to impress? All these questions were giving her a headache. Clare hiked the backpack onto her shoulder and began to slide down the fire escape.

When she reached the ground, Clare felt a wave of relief flood over her at the sight of the hearse. Seriously, who drove hearses just for the heck of it all? It was kind of creepy. Clare silently hoped he didn't have a slew of dead guys stowed away in there. That would be just her luck.

"Hey!" Eli sauntered over to her.

"Hi."

"You look upset."

"I HATE YOU, YOU GODDAMN BITCH!"

Eli's eyes widened, pain sweeping across his face, "I can see why."

"They've been like this lately," Clare's eyes fell to the grass, ashamed, "I'm so sorry you had to hear that…"

"Shh…look at me," Eli lifted her chin up with his thumb, "you're okay, alright? Now then, we're going to go get you away from here for tonight. I know just the place."

"I didn't know how long I'd be away so…I brought a bag for the night."

"Good girl," Eli grabbed her hand and lead her over to his car…if you could even call it that. He opened the door and she slid inside. Once he had gotten situated, he turned on the engine and the volume of the radio.

"Where are you taking me?" Clare asked.

"It's a surprise."

"I don't like surprises."

Eli smirked, not taking his eyes from the road. It would be too dangerous. If he looked at her, he wouldn't be able to turn away, and then they'd get in a wreck and die. Yup, not exactly the best plan. Eli gripped the steering wheel tighter until his knuckles paled a ghostly white. He was so nervous around her and he hated it.

He was supposed to be cool, chilled, relaxed. He wasn't supposed to get butterflies in his stomach and goosebumps from sitting next to her. This was ridiculous. It was Clare.

And that was exactly why. She had the most beautiful curly red hair and big blue eyes. And when she smiled…the world felt…right.

Ugh, now he was getting cheesy. Good job, Eli, way to be a freakin' nacho.

"Hurry, hurry, hurry before I go insane; I can't control my fingers, I can't control my brain…"

Eli glanced over to see Clare whisper the words to the classic Ramones' song remade by Sugar Cult. He couldn't help but smile. She was so cute…and surprising to boot! Wow, way to be a grandma, Eli.

"You know this song?"

"Mmhmm," Clare nodded.

"You sure are something, you know?"

"Of course I know I'm something, I'm a human being."

Eli rolled his eyes and shook a finger at her. Maybe she was fighting for the title of "local nacho." He pulled the hearse into a parking lot and put it in park.

"Where are we?" Clare looked around, "Is this when you murder me and cut up my body into little tiny pieces?"

"Don't be so morbid," Eli laughed, "This is where I rape you."

"WHAT?"

"I'm kidding, Clare. It was a joke. Not a good one, apparently. But that's beside the point. Come on, get out. I wanna show you something."

Clare did as she was told. She climbed out of the hearse and looked up at the sky. Thousands of stars shown like twinkling diamonds. Eli sat on the roof of the hearse and helped Clare up next to him.

"It's beautiful," she said, breathlessly, her eyes wide.

"Isn't? The sky is always so peaceful at night. I love it."

"Me too."

"Alright," Eli pushed his arms behind him supporting his body, "So please tell me that this makes things just a little bit better? If not, I'm gonna have to do some brainstorming."

Clare laughed, "Yes," she nodded, "it is making things a little bit better."

"Good," Eli looked over at her and she met his gaze.

"Hey," Clare said.

"Hey."

"No, I mean, hey like 'hey!'"

"Um…"

"Like I just had an idea!"

"Oh, okay," Eli paused and waited for her to share this idea with him.

"Why don't we take turns answering questions about ourselves. Not like twenty-questions, but if you ask me something, I have to answer it, but then you have to answer it about yourself. Understand?"

"Uh-oh, you're gonna get me into trouble with this one," Eli smirked, making Clare want to kiss him even more than she already did.

"I'll start."

"Oh no."

"Shut up," Clare rolled her eyes as she thought it over, "What's your full name?"

"Oh my god, I really hate you, you know that?"

"Liar."

Eli shot her a questioning look that caused Clare to second guess. Did he hate her?

"Kidding," Eli poked her in the side, "if you must know, it's Elijah Bill Goldsworthy."

"Bill?"

"Shut up," Eli rolled his eyes, "it's my dad's name. Your turn."

"Clare Marie Edwards."

"Marie?"

"Yes, you got a problem?"

"No," Eli smiled, "not at all. If you could do anything you wanted to do for a day, what would you do?'

"Hmm…" Clare thought it over, "go to New York City. See a Broadway play. Or runaway to a beach or something. Just…get away. Escape, you know. From…everything."

"Is it that bad?" Eli asked, growing concerned. His eyes were shadowed with concern. Clare tried to avoid his eyes, but they were like magnets against hers, drawing them towards his.

"Yes," Clare nodded, "they throw things. Hit each other."

"Do they ever hurt you?" Eli asked, his voice growing an octave higher. If they had hurt her, he'd kill them! Okay, so maybe not kill them per say, but he would want to. God, he would want to. Anyone who laid a hand on Clare Marie Edwards deserved a slow and painful death.

"No," Clare shook her head, "they avoid me pretty much. Focus more on each other."

"Good," Eli nodded, capturing a pale hand in his, "if they ever do hurt you, let me know, alright? You can talk to me about that sort of thing."

"I know," Clare nodded, "thanks, Eli. You're a good friend."

Friend.

That dreaded, cursed word. Eli wanted to roll his eyes and capture her lips in his. But right as the thought crossed his mind, her cell phone rang. Clare quickly retrieved it from her pocket.

"Hello? Dad? Dad…I'm sorry…I went over to Ali's to…work on some homework. Dad…stop it…please," her voice was so broken, so pleading, "I…I'm on my way now. Don't worry…Dad…Daddy stop yelling. Please stop…please."

Eli felt his blood boil as the tears tested her eyes. He wanted to punch something, but the only two things around were the car and Clare – neither one were an option.

Clare hung up the phone and looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"Come on," he squeezed his hand, "I better get you home."


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO: BRUISED

The car ride didn't last nearly long enough. It had been complete silence, neither Clare nor Eli knew what to say. Clare couldn't help but feel her stomach churn as they neared her house. She didn't know what to expect when she walked through the door. Sure, her father had never been cruel to her, but things were changing now – unexpected things. She didn't know this man who she once called "daddy." Eli could sense her fear, but didn't know what to say.

He had remembered when he was scared to go home – back before his older brother had gotten custody of him. He would always be grateful for Shawn. Without him, Eli didn't know where he would be. Probably in some juvenile detention center with a lot of anger. Not exactly a happy ending.

The hearse pulled into the driveway and Clare turned towards him, her eyes swimming with worry. She bit her lower lip before glancing towards the house.

"You'll be okay," Eli tried to sound assuring, "but if you need anything, just let me know, okay? I have your back, you know that right?"

"Yea, I know," Clare nodded, "I just…"

"You better go," Eli lowered his eyes, not wanting her to get into any more trouble than she already was in, "I'll see you tomorrow at school, okay? Meet me in the parking lot, alright?"

"Sure thing," Clare opened the door and slowly slid out of the hearse. She waved a pathetic goodbye before heading up the walkway towards the porch. Only one light appeared to be on. Maybe they had just gone to bed. That would be perfect. If they had gone to bed, everything would hopefully be forgotten in the morning.

She slid the key into the lock and barely had the door open when her father was standing right before her in a heartbeat.

"Where the hell have you been?" He snapped, shoving Clare from the door against the wall.

"I-I was with Ali. We were working on a…a project for school."

"Who's car was that?"

"Her father's. It's a rental. His car…is um…in the shop…that's all the dealership had…in regards to a…um…rental."

A hard slap across her face caused Clare to stumble backwards. Neither one of her parents had ever hit her before. It was a complete shock. She caught her balance and stood firm, looking her father in the eye, wondering where this newly discovered confidence had come from.

"Daddy…"

"Shut up!" Another slap. This time, Clare fell to the floor. Dan Edwards considered kicking the crumpled body on the floor, but his wife's sudden presence distracted him from his thoughts.

"Dan," Tina hissed, "what have you done?"

Clare's vision was blurred, but the marks on her mother's face was hard to mistake. She couldn't believe what had just happened. It felt like her life was slowly beginning to unravel at the seams. She didn't know what to do, so she just lied there on the floor, trying to pretend to be unable to move. It was probably safer that way.

"She snuck out, Tina!"

"I don't care," Clare's mother snapped, "you can't just hurt her like that! You don't know your own strength, Dan, and it's going to get you into a lot of trouble someday."

Dan Edwards marched over to his wife and grabbed her by the wrist before violently dragging her towards the stairs. He was going to take her to their bedroom. They would fight some. Tina would yell at him, curse him maybe, and he'd hit her. He'd hit her a lot. Then he'd apologize. And grab her and kiss her. And they'd head for the bed and have some sort of violent, kinky sex – most likely against her mother's will.

Clare lied on the floor for a moment longer. For a moment, she was unsure if she could even move. Maybe she hadn't been pretending. Her face was throbbing and her head was spinning. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know where to go. Her parents would be upstairs. Thank God for the lock on the bedroom door.

Slowly, she worked her way into a sitting position and felt along her jaw. It was already swelling. Her fingertips caressed something warm, sticky. Blood. Her lip was completely busted and her fingertips withdrew from the wound, stained a sickening crimson wine. Clare brushed some hair from her face, the only thing she could thing of doing at the moment, and stood up from the floor. She noticed a little stain of ruby upon the beige carpeting.

She couldn't believe what her father had done. No one had ever hit her before. Darcy threw a hairbrush at her once during a fight, but that was it. Oh Darcy! How desperately Clare wished she was there. She had finished building the school in Kenya and was currently volunteering at the orphanage there. Clare doubted her sister would ever come home soon.

There was always Eli. But how could she possibly tell Eli this? She had just met him and things were going so well. She couldn't dump a bunch of family problems on him. Besides, she didn't want to sound dramatic or cause a bunch of drama. If anything, her brain was overreacting and blowing the situation way out of proportion.

She had never been hit by either one of her parents. Maybe this was normal. She had snuck out of the house. Sure her father may have overreacted a little, but she was deserving of some form of punishment. It certainly wasn't worth getting everything all riled up over. Eli would just freak out anyway. He had a temper, that was obvious, and he was definitely capable of doing something stupid. It would be best to not tell him.

But how could she possibly lie about her lip?

Clare made her way up the stairs to her bedroom. She quietly passed her parents' bedroom and locked her door behind her. Once safely inside, Clare examined her lip in the mirror of the adjoining bathroom. It certainly was a nasty cut. Clare locked the bathroom door before running some cold tap water. She retrieved a towel from under the sink, wet it, and compressed it against the lower lip.

The pain was almost unbearable, but Clare knew from health class that it was important to apply pressure, it would stop the bleeding. She looked at herself in the mirror and noticed how dark her eyes had become. The sparkle was gone. Clare began to read the thought of school tomorrow. Especially seeing Eli. Maybe she could just avoid him. That would be the safe thing to do – just ignore him. Pretend he didn't exist in her world. She wouldn't wait for him in the parking lot, nor would she sit with him at lunch.

Lunch could easily be spent in the bathroom or the library. But there was the problem with English class. He would see her there, and see her lip. No amount of makeup would ever be able to conceal this damage. She would just need a good lie to cover up for her. Clare was always bad at telling lies, and the very thought of lying to anyone – especially to Eli, though she wasn't sure why – caused her skin to crawl. Maybe she could have tripped. People trip all the time, right? And she wasn't exactly coordinated.

She could have tripped on the stairs. Or maybe had fallen out of bed and hit it against the nightstand. That would be a good one too. People fall out of beds, especially during nightmares. She could just say that she had had a nightmare about her parents and the next thing she knew, she had woken up on the floor, the comforter crumpled around her, and her lip busted and bleeding. That was a good lie, right?

Clare wouldn't know. She had never even considered lying to anyone. She had never really had a reason to. There were only three lies Clare had ever told – one was when she was in grade one. She had lied that Jimmy Jones had used the last Raspberry Red glitter crayon. The second was when she was in the sixth grade. She had lied about not finishing an assignment in time. She had been too distracting reading the Anthology of Psychological Analysis to bother with coloring in a map of Canada.

And this time, would be the third. Third time's the charm, right? Maybe this would be the last lie. No more lies after this one, Clare silently vowed to herself. She removed the towel from her lip and examined the damage. Her lip was deep crimson, almost black along the gash, and throbbed. Clare knew she needed her rest and crawled back into her bed. She sat the laptop down on the floor, and pulled the covers up around her neck. There was a crack of thunder as she pulled the covers over her head. She wished she could just disappear.

The next morning, Eli stood leaned against the hearse and waited for Clare to show up. He was beginning to grow impatient and worried. He remembered the hell he had endured at the hands of his parents. He couldn't imagine Clare going through that, and he hoped she hadn't. Maybe her dad had just gone to bed and she had slipped upstairs without any trouble. But the later it got, the more he worried. Clare still was nowhere to be seen and it was beginning to drive him crazy. The first bell rang, and Eli made his way into the school, tugging the earphones over his head. He needed some Black Veil Brides to cool him down. As he walked into the school, wishing his hair could look like Andy's, he spotted Clare talking to Ali.

"Clare!" He walked towards her, his excitement causing him to forget that he had never really called her by her first name before. Edwards, Clare-Bear, Blue Eyes…but never really just Clare.

"Um…hi," Clare said, her eyes dropping towards the scuffed linoleum.

Ali could sense the tension. She knew that something had happened to Clare, but she didn't know what. Maybe the story about falling from the bed was true, and maybe it wasn't. Ali didn't know what to believe. Clare always told the truth, so it must have happened, right? Eli looked so concerned when he saw the gash, and Clare turned a deep shade of red. If the circumstances weren't so suspicious, Ali would have gladly squealed over just how totes cute they looked!

"What the hell is that?" Eli demanded, pointing towards the gash on her lip," And wanna explain why you chose not to meet me outside in the parking lot like previously agreed upon?"

Clare wanted to melt into a puddle on the floor. Like the scene from The Wizard of Oz, where the Wicked Witch kind of oozes into a puddle? That's exactly what Clare wished she could do. She wished it more than anything.

"It's nothing," Clare tried to shrug it off, but Eli wasn't having any of it.

"It most certainly is something! And I am going to give you three seconds for you to tell me where you got that from. One…two…"

"I fell out of bed!" Clare blurted out. Ali shrugged back against her locker, allowing the 'couple' their somewhat privacy. Something told her they needed to talk this over alone, and she quickly took interest in retrieving her Biology book.

"What?" Eli glared at her.

"I had a nightmare last night. My parents had fallen asleep when I got home, and I crawled into bed, but I had a nightmare about their fighting. Anyway, next thing I knew, I was on the floor with my comforter on top of me and my lip busted open."

"Oh my God," Eli paled, even paler than usual, "Clare, are you alright?"

"I am, just not the most pleasant way to be woken up," she tried to make light of the situation and smiled a small, weak smile. It pained her to do so.

Eli leaned down towards her and ran a fingertip across her lower lip. Their noses were practically touching and his action gave her chills. She longed for him to kiss her, but unfortunately, the second bell rang. They would be late to class.

"Looks like we're late," Eli grinned.

"I can't get detention, I just can't!"

Eli rolled his eyes, casually through his arms over her shoulder, and headed with her towards their first period. Mrs. Cunningham glared at them as they walked through the door. Clare turned a deep shade of crimson.

"Eli, Clare," Mrs. Cunningham barked, "Since you two both love to spend so much time together, you can spend some quality time with me…in detention. I'll be seeing you after school."

"Eli!" Clare hissed, slipping into her seat, "I can't believe you got me in trouble!"

"Me?" Eli chuckled, "Whatever you say, princess."


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE: PRISION SENTENCE

Clare couldn't believe that Eli had gotten had her detention. Though it wasn't _exactly _his fault, she still took up the liberty of blaming him. After all, he was the one that stopped her and started talking to her, asking her about the busted lip. If he hadn't cared, she would have been to class on time and wouldn't have gotten detention. Mrs. Cunningham wasn't her favorite teacher, but Clare had always disliked the idea of a teacher being angry or disappointed in her.

She slid into the chair and pulled out her Anthology of European Poetry. John Keats would surely make her feel somewhat better. She had already gotten most of her homework done in class, so she decided detention would be the perfect time to get caught up on some reading.

The door clicked open and she turned to see who it was. Eli sauntered into the classroom and took his usual seat behind her. Clare quickly returned to her book, completely ignoring the fact that he had so wonderfully graced her with his presence. Mrs. Cunningham stood from her desk and walked over to where the two of them sat.

"Clare, Eli," she said with a taught smile, "how wonderful to see the two of you again. It's a shame, Clare, your first detention being on account of a boy." Clare blushed a deep red and Eli smirked. This didn't stop Mrs. Cunningham, however, "You were always so sweet, so shy, so responsible."

Clare could feel her blood boil and bubble inside her veins. She started to really hate Mrs. Cunningham. Eli, of course, was completely enjoying their teacher's outburst. He allowed a small smirk to play and tug at the corner of his mouth. He loved watching Clare squirm a bit. It was so…cute.

Clare bit her lower lip, knowing she shouldn't fight against it. That would only make things worse. But then again, she did have the right to defend herself…

"Mrs. Cunningham," Clare coughed, "I am sorry to sound condescending, but I wasn't late on account of him. I was late on my own account of arriving late to school. I just so happened to walk in with him. I couldn't help the fact that we arrived at the same time to your classroom, and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't make assumptions."

Mrs. Cunningham took a step back, a look of shock was splattered across her face. Eli coughed back a short, muffled snort. He liked this confidant version of Clare. She wasn't gonna take crap from anyone, and he loved it.

"I'm so sorry," Clare blushed a fevered shade of red, "Oh my goodness, I am so sorry!"

Eli rolled his eyes, smiling slightly – she was still the same old Clare.

"It is fine, Clare. I shouldn't have been so…harsh," Mrs. Cunningham turned back to her desk and returned to grading some assignments.

Clare put her head in her hands for a moment, and tried to ignore the poke in her side. It was so tough though and she longed to turn around and snap at him. She would snap at him, too. Despite the fact that his smile would make her melt.

Another poke.

Clare opened up her book and began to read some more. John Keats – what a wonderfully poetic, classical romantic. He questioned and observed and he was disliked by everyone. He didn't allow people to change him or put him into a mold. He really was outgoing and fantastic and could take something as ordinary as a piece of lint and make into something beautifully extraordinary.

She needed a guy like Keats. Not like Eli. Eli didn't care about beauty…did he? He liked the stars, and he had agreed that they were beautiful. And he did make the effort to share that beauty with her. But was he poetic? Romantic? No, he was just a tart pain in the butt. An annoyance and a nuisance. So why was she spending so much time enthralled with him?

Another poke.

"WHAT?" Clare hissed turning to face him. Mrs. Cunningham glanced up from her grading.

"My pen is out of ink," she informed them, "I will be right back. Try not to cause complete and total mayhem while I am gone."

She passed by them and shot a stiff look towards Eli, before leaving the completely alone.

"Someone is a little on edge today," Eli noted, his voice light with airy sarcasm.

"Shut up," Clare rolled her eyes, "I've had a horrible day. I woke up on the floor with a busted lip, I was late to class, I made a B on my Sociology exam, I am stuck here with you…"

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Eli leaned forward and Clare could feel his breath tickling the hairs on the back of her neck, "admit it," he said – his voice bold – "you like it."

"Ha," Clare let out an dry laugh, "you wish."

"Admit it, Edwards," Eli's lips were practically brushing the sensitive skin behind her ear, "I dare you!"

Clare practically jumped the classroom door opened and Mrs. Cunningham walked in, her red heels clacking along the linoleum. She shot Eli a suspicious look. Mrs. Cunningham was a smart woman. She had taught high school for twenty-five years. She had raised four sons. She knew all about boys. And she knew how their minds worked.

She almost pitied Clare, except for the fact that Clare actually seemed to want the attention. Of course, she would never admit it – no girl ever really did – but deep down, she was enthralled with Eli. She longed for the attention, the smirk, the teasing, the flirting. Eli was a pain in the butt, Mrs. Cunningham knew this, but she also knew that despite that, Clare loved every second of Eli and his obnoxious presence.

Clare began to allow herself to be transported among the words of her book. She was engulfed with them and hardly noticed the stab of paper against her back. She turned and grabbed the little folded contraption from the hand behind her and opened it up quietly.

**Clare-Bear, always with her nose stuffed into a book.**

Clare scribbled back her response:

_Far better to read than to talk to you._

**Come on now. Are you really mad at me? Surely not. No one can resist this!**

_I can. It's easy._

**Okay, so first off you blow me off this morning and now you're in a bad mood towards me. I don't like it one bit. Talk to me. I order you to!**

_Order? Excuse me?_

**Sorry. You know I say crap like that. Now talk to me.**

_You're ordering again…_

**No, I am begging. There IS a difference, you know.**

Mrs. Cunningham glanced up from her packet of grading papers, and shot them a curious look. She knew to just keep quiet and just to let them have their fun. If that's what you could call it. They were young and she could tell, even if they couldn't, that they were in love. Or something like it.

She turned back to her essays and began to scribble with her red pen. They weren't talking, they weren't making noises or being obnoxious or rude.

_If you say so…I am just a little upset, that's all. _

**What did I do?**

_Nothing. Why do you automatically assume that you've done something? You're so vein and you think that everything has to do with you. If I am upset, you must be the cause of it._

**Well how am I supposed to know if you won't talk to me about it? I don't know what's going on here, Clare. You come to school with a busted lip and ignore me all day. Like I did it to you or something.**

_I'm sorry…it's just that I've had a terrible time and I am really upset and you're being pushy. It only upsets me even worse._

**Well I don't want to upset you. I just would like to talk to you. I don't like not knowing what's going on.**

_Why do you care? It doesn't concern you._

**If it has to do with you, then I am concerned. **

_But why? I am no one. I am Clare Marie Edwards. I am chubby and have red hair and freckles. I use too many big words and am socially awkward. I don't like big groups of people and I love to read. I am a nobody._

**You're not a nobody. You are Clare Marie Edwards. You are smart and sophisticated but fun and energetic. You make me smile and you make me laugh. You are super-sweet and have the biggest heart of anyone I have ever met. You're shy but you're practically screaming for someone to crack your binding and read your pages.**

_Wow…_

**Let me read your pages, Clare. Don't be a closed book. Don't shut yourself away from me. Please…don't do that to me. It'll kill me.**

_I don't know where to even begin. _

**Begin with when you got home.**

_My parents had gone to bed. They had left the hall light in the entry way on for me. I went upstairs and went to bed. I was exhausted and I fell asleep instantly. When I woke up, I was on the floor with a busted lip. I had had a nightmare – as usual now – and had rolled out of bed. It happens a lot. This was the first time I had ever hurt myself though. I came to school and had to go talk to Ali. I am sorry it seemed like I was blowing you off._

**You sure that's the truth, Saint Clare?**

_You know I can't lie._

**True. Dot after we get out of here?**

_You're buying._

Clare could hear him stifle a small chuckle.

**It'd be my pleasure.**


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR: ICE CREAM SUNDAES

"May I take your order?" Asks the newest addition to The Dot, a pimply teen neither Clare nor Eli had recognized, probably from West Brook.

"Um…" Clare bit her lip, then recoiled, realizing it was definitely not the best idea. Her lip was throbbing and she gently put her fingertips against the swollen flesh. Eli knew just what would make her feel better. No one could resist smiling with a mouthful of ice cream sundae.

"One large ice cream sundae, extra cherries, _extra _chocolate sauce."

"That'll be right out."

"I-I haven't had an ice cream sundae in years," Clare giggled.

Eli smiled, her giggle was the most beautiful sound in the world to him, "I'm sorry about earlier," he said, "and I am sorry I got you detention."

"It wasn't your fault," Clare placed a small, paper napkin on her lap, "I was just having a bad day and I didn't mean to be short or take it out on you. I am sorry I was avoiding you earlier."

Eli bit his bottom lip for a second before saying, "My parents divorced when I was twelve. It was tough on me. They both are kinda screwed up – I mean, we all are, but with them…it's worse. There's something not right in the way they think. They mean well, I know they do, but it just…sometimes they don't always make the right choices…choices that effect me and my brother, Shawn."

"Shawn?"

"He graduated high school two years ago and works down at the auto-parts store. I live with him now. Without him, I wouldn't…let's just say, I don't know where I would be. My parents…they um…they liked to take out their frustrations on me. Especially my dad…"

Eli rolled up the sleeve of his leather jacket, revealing a series of red, dotted scars along the inside of his right arm. They were welted and puffy, nasty looking things. Clare gasped, the breath snatched instantly from her lungs.

"W-what are those?" She asked, her eyes wide, unsure if she truly wanted to know. But then again, she had to. This was Eli. For some reason, she wanted to know every freckle, every scar, every store. She wanted to know every inch of him. Every word of his story – every period and question mark and pronoun and adverb. She wanted to know it all.

"Cigar burns. I was kind of an…an astray for me dad sometimes. Don't worry, Blue Eyes," Eli laughed it off, as always, "I've been through worse. Trust me. This was nothing."

"Eli…"

"Shh," he rolled his sleeve back down, "I know parents can be difficult sometimes…sometimes without even meaning to be. My parents…I love them…they just…they just aren't always able to show it back. Mom divorced dad after he started on her. Apparently it was okay when it was Shawn and me, but with her, she couldn't take it. I lived with Dad for awhile because she pretty much gave up all guardianship of me. When Shawn graduated, he got custody of me. It was a nasty court battle, but I am so glad he won."

"Wow," Clare honestly didn't know what to say. She was so glad her life wasn't so complicated…or was it? She reminded herself of last night. Was her dad slowly going to become like Eli's? Cruel and devious and cunning and heartless? What kind of father would use his son's arm to put out his cigars? Her mind flashbacked to one of her favorite eighties movies. John Bender's dad used to put out cigars on his son…for spilling paint in the garage. What had Eli done that his father thought warranted that kind of punishment?

And Eli was so unlike Bender. Eli was kind. He had beautiful, kind, loving eyes. They weren't dark or cold. They hadn't been blackened by hate, by cruelty. He still had love, even love for his parents. Clare became instantly memorized by him.

"I wanted to tell you because…because I want you to know that…you can talk to me about anything, Clare…anything at all…and I would get it."

"Thank you," Clare smiled a small, unsure smile. She couldn't meet his gaze. Thankfully, their sundae arrived quickly. It was just as Clare had imagined – four scoops of vanilla ice cream, smothered in chocolate sauces, whipped cream, and dotted with about ten maraschino cherries, "This looks…amazing!"

Eli laughed, "Good. Eat up."

Together, they dug their spoons into the creamy dessert, and devoured it slowly, loving the time they had together more than either truly wanted to admit.

Clare could feel all her worries slowly began to melt away, like the slushy bottoms of the ice cream scoops. She felt like laughing.

"Eli," she shook her head, condescendingly.

"What?"

"You've got whipped cream all over you!" She giggled.

"What? Where?"

"Right…_there_!" Clare dipped her finger into the whipped cream and spread it on the tip of his nose. She scooted back to examine her work and giggled even more.

"Ooh, you're asking for _war_, Blue Eyes!"

"_Bring it_, Whipped-Cream-Nose!"

Eli chuckled as he dipped his hand into the bowl, and withdrew a handful of whipped cream, which he proceeded to fling right into Clare's face.

"_ELI_!" She squealed.

"What?" He chuckled again, "You asked for it, babe."

Suddenly he turned bright red, as did Clare.

"_Babe_?"

"Uh…"

"Don't think talkin' sweet to me is gonna get you off the hook," she quickly recovered, "you're a dead-man, Goldsworthy!"

A few minutes later, the two found themselves stranded outside of The Dot, the owner glaring at them angrily through the glass door.

"I can't believe you got me kicked out of The Dot!"

"Hey," Eli said, feigning insult, "_you _were the one who started it, Blue Eyes. I merely acted out of self-defense. You couldn't _honestly _expect me to sit by and let you so…_viciously _attack me!"

"_Viciously_? I didn't throw whipped cream in your _face_."

"Yes you did."

"_After you _threw it _first_."

"Maturity isn't your strong suit, is it, Saint Clare?" Eli grinned that crooked grin of his that made Clare's skin prickle with tiny, cursed goose bumps.

She was about to say something in return, when her cell phone began to ring. She quickly retrieved it from her backpack and glanced at the screen.

"It's my dad," the color from her face drained and the blood within Eli's veins began to bubble, "I-I better answer it." She flipped it open and answered with a cracked, "Hello? Sorry Dad, I had to stay after to help Mrs. Cunningham with the…the history project. She needed my help with putting the…assignments…on the website. Yes, I am headed home now. I'll be there in a few minutes…yes I know…I'm sorry. I'll be there in five…Daddy please. I said I was sorry. I needed to…Daddy stop…I needed to help…"

Eli frowned and shoved his hands into his pockets as they headed back to the hearse. Once inside, Clare hung up the phone and placed it shakily onto her lap. Her face was pale and Eli could sense the butterflies in her stomach. Something was wrong.

"I am guessing I am taking you home?" Eli asked.

"Yeah," Clare nodded, her voice squeaking.

"Clare…"

"Just…just drive. Please, Eli."

"You can come stay with me…" he offered gently, but his attempt was to no avail.

"You know that isn't an option," Clare flushed, "besides, I will be fine. He is just upset that I didn't let him know where I was. He was just worried. That's all."

"Well _I'm_ worried."

"What do _you _have to be worried about?" Clare let out a small, nervous laugh.

"You."

"I can fight my own battles, Eli," she shook her head, "and I'd appreciate it if you would just…just stay out of this. It doesn't concern you Eli. It's not about you."

"When you look as frightened as you do now, believe me, _it concerns me_."

"Eli…"

"Just…call me. Call me as soon as you can. Let me know that you're alright."

"Okay, _big brother_," Clare rolled her eyes.

"I mean it, Clare. You call me."

Clare felt her stomach summersault over his concern, "Alright," she nodded, "I'll call you as soon as I get the chance. I promise."

"Good," Eli nodded, keeping his eyes on the road. It wasn't until his knuckles began to throb that he realized he had been practically strangling the steering wheel.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE: GUARDIAN

A/N: I think Clare lives in an apartment but for the sake of the story, just pretend she lives in a house.

Eli sat in the hearse, unable to go inside the apartment complex where he knew his brother was waiting for him. Shawn trusted him, he wouldn't be angry if Eli came in a few minutes late. Besides, he didn't dare leave without that phone call. He needed to know if Clare was alright. The thought of her going through whatever it was she might be going through made his skin crawl. The goose bumps upon his arms and neck turned into tiny little torturous spiders and the blood within his veins, boiling mahogany liquid, fire within the arteries.

His stomach knotted and twisted into every kind of knot- square, monkey, triangle, flex, helix. His heart raced, beating rapidly inside his chest. His head spun, dizzy with the anger and thoughts of protecting that obnoxious, know-it-all red-head.

Clare Edwards. Clare Elizabeth Edwards with her cinnamon-sugar curls and crystal blue eyes and swollen, sugarplum lips. She was beautiful, even if she didn't know it herself. Her skin was pale as parchment, and she was just as fragile. Eli couldn't bear the thought of Clare Edwards being in pain, Clare Edwards crying.

His fingers gripped the steering wheel even tighter as he slammed his head against it in agony and frustration. It had been fifteen minutes. Where was that damn phone call?

He was going to kill her.

He had decided it right then and there. He would kill her. She had promised she'd call him and she hadn't and now he was sick with worry. Oooh, she was definitely going to get an earful all right. Eli rolled his eyes, completely absorbed in protector-mode.

He needed to be her protector. He needed to watch out for her and dry the tears and scare the monsters away.

He pushed the key deep inside the ignition and awoke the hearse from its quiet, creepy sleep. Eli pressed the accelerator pedal and hurried to the house he had left what seemed like forever ago. The lights were all out, but one. There was a creepy chill that fell down upon him like a winter's fog. Eli turned the lights of the hearse off and stared intently at the house.

Two stories – white paint, dark blue shutters. The hedges were trimmed neatly and there was a rosebush on the south corner. It was simplistic, cookie-cutter. It didn't draw attention to itself, and on any given day, Eli would have just driven right past without a second thought. Now, this house spun through his head, a tornado. What was happening inside that little picture-perfect-house?

Clare gripped the bathroom sink and examined her face in the mirror. The bony flesh above both her eyes had began to turn a nasty shade of purpled yellow. There was a gash from her forehead across one of her eyes and her lip had been busted open again. She turned in the mirror and looked at the nape of neck. She tugged her shirt away and stared at the bruises that were starting to form. The same purple-blue dotted her arms, her neck, her shoulders, her stomach. Red handprints were imprinted upon her neck.

Clare didn't realize until just then that tears were pouring from her eyes as if they were faucets. How had this happened?

Her father had never been like this, ever. He used to be fun and exciting and playful. He was always full of laughter, surprise road trips, excursions to the ice cream parlors, pillow fights, tickle fights, father-daughter movie dates. He used to be her whole world.

Clare had loved and admired him growing up. He was her everything and she was his everything.

But something had changed. Clare no longer knew this man who had put her through hell the past thirty minutes. She didn't even recognize herself. Her face looked like a Halloween mask.

She glanced at the cell phone on top of the counter and noticed the screen was lit up, notifying her of a text message gone unread.

Clare flipped open her phone and began to read:

**You okay? You got me worried sick over here!**

_Sorry._

**One-word text messages? Call me.**

_I can't._

**I am sitting outside of your house right now. If you don't call me in thirty seconds, Blue Eyes, I am coming up that fire escape.**

_Don't! _

**Then call.**

Clare had no choice. She knew she would have to face Eli sooner or later. Oh he would be so upset if he saw her like this. She would just have to try her hardest to sound happy, cheerful. It would be another lie. She would say that she was grounded. That would be perfect! She was grounded and since it was almost the weekend, she would have a few days to recover before having to face Eli. Maybe she would be mostly healed by then.

Clare dialed the number and waited for Eli to answer.

"What happened?" Eli demanded, his voice rising an octave.

"Nothing," Clare let out a small laugh, "you worry too much, silly! I am fine. Trust me. I am grounded for the weekend, but that is it. Besides, it'll give me a chance to get caught up on some of my reading…"

"Clare…"

"Eli, trust me."

"I can't."

"What do you mean you can't?" Clare demanded.

"I don't think I can trust you. I know about lies, Clare. If anything, I am the King of Lying. I know every deceit, every trick. I know you aren't alright. I can tell by the sound of your voice."

"I can fight my own battles, Eli," Clare scoffed, "I don't need a guardian angel!"

"Guardian angel?" Eli gagged, "how about guardian devil, then?"

Clare could practically see the small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, teasing her ever-so-slightly. It made her want to smile in return.

"Eli…"

"I know you're fighting the urge to smile, trying so desperately to refuse me. Well, I know you better than that, Blue Eyes. I know how irresistible I am."

"Oh, are you?"

"Come downstairs. Meet me outside."

"I-I can't."

"You can," Eli grinned, "and you will. Get down here, Blue Eyes, or else I'll come up and get you."

Clare gave in agreed. She asked for a few minutes though to get some things ready. She applied some makeup to her face and eyes. She caked on the powder until her skin was practically orange. She thanked God for the fact that it was night out, and that the makeup would hopefully work to her advantage.

Clare wrapped a small shawl around her neck and scurried towards the fire escape. She spotted Eli sitting below on her mother's marble garden bench.

Quietly, she climbed down out the window and towards the ground below. Eli hopped up from his spot on the bench and ran towards her, his eyes darting back and forth, his hands feeling along her arms and her face.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his voice desperate.

"Yes," Clare laughed, trying to ignore the pain that she was in, "I'm fine."

"Take off that shawl."

"I'm cold."

"Then I'll give you my jacket."

"You'll freeze."

"Vampire's don't feel cold, remember?" He joked.

"Eli…"

"Give me your shawl."

Clare didn't know what to do anymore. She slowly unwrapped the satin material from around her neck, revealing the handprints. Eli gasped at the sight of them.

"Clare!"

"Eli, I am fine. It's worse than it looks, trust me…"

"He did this?"

Clare's eyes fell to the grass, shame filling her heart. She longed to melt into a puddle, to just disappear. Why couldn't she just be invisible? Why did Eli have to come along and…and care so much about her!

"Yes," Clare nodded, "but…"

"That's it!" Eli hissed, kicking his combat boot against one of the oak trees, "You're coming with me. You're staying at the apartment with me and Shawn for the night."

"Eli, I don't think that's necessary. I mean…you're overreacting."

"Overreacting!" Eli's voice was now raised to half-shouting, half-whispering, "Clare, he beat you! He hurt you! No one does that to you! No one is allowed to do this to you!"

"Eli…"

"Don't you argue with me, Blue Eyes," Eli placed his hands gently on her face and stared right into her eyes, causing Clare's heart to kick into overdrive, "I can be _very persuasive_."


	6. Chapter 6

I always hate when author's do this, but this is something that needs to be said.

First of all, my laptop is in the repair shop. The mouse decided to give out on me and I will be without a computer for a few days.

I am really sorry. I will update as soon as I am able, I promise you that.

I've gotten attached to all of you and each of your reviews (except one, but I will get to that soon) brings a smile to my face. I have fallen in love with this story and feel as though I have a connection with these characters, and with all of you.

The second thing that needs to be addressed is something that really bothered me.

Someone sent me a review telling me to update my ali/johnny fic from like...months ago. They used the term "this is bullshit."

I am sorry.

I will be perfectly honest with all of you, I do not always finish my stories. Now don't panic, because I WILL finish this one. But keep in mind, I am a college student who works part time and who has a grandmother who's been in the hospital for almost two weeks with a stroke.

I love to write, but sometimes, it just isn't my priority. I get distracted with the REAL WORLD and that is my focus, as it should be. Writing is my passion, fanfiction is my hobby, but it is NOT my whole life. I have other things going on and no one can expect me or order me to review upon demand. I am not a TV where you can turn me on and I will entertain you.

I am a human being. A young girl trying to survive moving across the country to go to college, a sick grandmother, losing a best friend, a nasty break up, and a whole bunch of other stuff. That is REAL to me. Not "E-Clare."

I am sorry if I seem rude, but it needed to be said. YES,, I WILL finish this story as soon as I possibly can. But please do not yell at me, curse at me, or send me private messages full of hateful words and anger because I didn't update soon enough, or not at all.

Fanfiction is amazing. I have made some good friends on here and I treasure all of you for your support and your friendship. 196 (I think) stories later, and I am still going strong. But please, I am not just a keyboard typing away to entertain you with my stories. I have other things going on so please, please, please be understanding. Nothing hurts me worse than hateful words from my readers.

Thank you for reading all of this and I hope you all will have a good day. Take care and I hope to update very soon!


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SIX: SHAWN

"He won't bite, I promise," Eli laughed, as he led Clare up the iron staircase. He was holding her hand as she followed behind, butterflies and shame flooding over her. Eli could sense her uncertainty and fear, "but me? I make no promises." He then proceeded to chomp his teeth towards her teasingly. When he didn't get the reaction he was hoping for, Eli tried again, "Come on, Blue Eyes, that was a joke. I won't bite…unless of course you beg."

Clare could feel the small smile tug at the corners of her lips.

"You wanna smile," Eli grinned a crooked grin, "so badly, Blue Eyes. You're fighting it. You're fighting it hard."

"Shut up," Clare rolled her eyes.

"Make me," Eli stopped at a beat up, puke-green painted door, "home sweet home," he announced, swinging the door open.

Clare was greeted by a tiny, three-room apartment. There was a living room which contained a small TV and a futon. The next room was the kitchen – a refrigerator, dishwasher, and small table. Then there was the third bedroom which housed a small bed and a guitar.

"It isn't much," Eli shrugged, "but it works."

"Who is this?"

Clare turned to see an older version of Eli standing before them. He had long, scraggly dark hair and the same beautiful green eyes. His nose was dotted with freckles.

"This is Clare," Eli nodded towards her, "her parents are kinda being jerks and she needs a place to crash for the night. I told her you wouldn't mind."

"Not at all," Shawn shrugged, "um…the futon is up for grabs. The refrigerator is fully stocked with Jones Soda and orange juice. There's Ramen in the pantry, and the bathroom is down the hall. There are towels in that closet there, and I am sure Eli will be a very good host. He'll take care of everything."

"Thank you," Clare smiled sweetly at the welcoming Shawn, "I appreciate what you're doing for me."

"Aw, not at all. Any friend of Eli's is a friend of mine. Don't keep her up too late, bro. I gotta be up early in the morning for work, so I'll go ahead and crash. Help yourselves to some TV, movies…whatever."

Shawn headed back to the bedroom and shut the door behind him. Eli flipped on the light and let out a small gasp when he saw Clare's face. It was completely caked in orange makeup, and failed miserably to hide the swelling, cuts, and bruises.

"What the hell did they do to you?" Eli grabbed Clare's shoulders and studied her face, "Oh my God!"

"It's not as bad as it looks…" Clare tried to turn out of his grasp, but he held onto her tightly, "Eli…"

"Come on," Eli grabbed her hand and led her over to the sink in the kitchen. He ran some tap water and dipped a wash-towel into the cold water, "This might hurt a bit," Eli looked at her with concern and worry draping his eyes, "I'm sorry."

Clare nodded and let him wash her face off with the damp towel. The water and the texture of the rough towel against the bruises and cuts stung and Clare clenched her fists, trying not to whimper. Eli noticed this and tossed the towel aside, and pulled her into a hug, completely engulfing her with his arms.

"You're okay," he said, his voice quiet, still, "you're okay, blue eyes. I've got you, okay?"

Clare completely broke down. She began to sob, her whole body quaking underneath the force of the tears. She was a sticky mess of tears and snot, but Eli kept holding onto her, despite his drenched leather jacket.

"What have they done to you, blue eyes?" Eli shook his head, still hugging her tightly, "It's okay, cry. I'm here and I'm not letting go. I'll never let go."

"Eli…why…"

"I don't know why," Eli said honestly, "people just don't realize what they do sometimes, I guess. But you can stay here as long you would like, okay? I'm not letting anything happen to you."

"Thank you, Eli," Clare said, her sobs finally subsided. Eli held her out at arms' length and began to wipe the tears away gently with his thumb.

"Don't thank me," Eli looked her over, "they sure did a number on you, didn't they?"

"I'll be okay."

"I know you will," Eli said, kissing her on top of her head.

"How do you know?" Clare asked.

"Because, Blue Eyes, you're a fighter. You just don't know it yet."


	8. Chapter 7: Cuddlebug

Author's Note: I am back! I started back into FF a few days ago and stumbled upon this story late at night. I felt so drawn to it once again and flipped through the reviews (102, wow guys! Thank you!) and then went to bed. As I was sleeping, I had a dream about this fanfiction. Actually, about Clare and Eli. I don't know why or how, but I suddenly just knew that I HAD to finish this. The characters had crawled into my mind and begged me to finish. I knew that I had no other choice, not that I am upset by that fact

Y'all are amazing and I hope and pray that all of you that have supported me from the very start of this story will still continue to bless me with your support. I don't know where I'd be without you guys.

I have been struggling through a lot. I have been diagnosed with several mental illnesses and am on medication. I feel like I have a completely new take on life. I am so happy and joyful. And I know I have to return to my hobby and my passion – writing and writing FF.

Also another big change…I am engaged! To my prince charming! It's like a story from a FF, I swear! I liked this kid named James and my fiancé liked this girl named Sarah. Well, James and Sarah liked each other and my fiancé and I eventually became best friends and then boyfriend/girlfriend. He proposed this summer after six months of dating. I couldn't be happier.

By the way – this chapter is a bit intense. Not really "lemon" but just intense.

Anyways, without any further ado – I present to you…

CHAPTER SEVEN: CUDDLEBUG

Clare and Eli had abandoned the bathroom and headed back out towards the living room. Eli nodded towards the TV, "I've got movies if you wanna watch one."

"Sure," Clare nodded, curling up on the futon. She pulled her feet underneath her and grabbed the throw-blanket, wrapping it around her shivering frame. She wasn't shivering from cold, but from the very memories of what had occurred. She didn't feel like this was real. She felt like she was someone else – a reflection of herself. A reflection of herself in a mirror of broken, shattered glass.

"Here," Eli tossed a CD case filled with DVDs at the girl currently snuggled up on his futon. She was so cute, not even Eli could deny that. He couldn't help but stare as she flipped through the plastic sheets that protected each disk. The bruises and cuts on her face pained him to see. How could someone hurt his beautiful Blue Eyes?

His beautiful blue eyes? Eli mentally slapped himself. Where had that come from? He and Clare were just friends, right? But then why did he feel a magnetic pull on his heart, the butterflies flapping their effervescent wings in his stomach each time he was around her? Clare brought out all these unknown and unfamiliar feelings. She made him nervous, and Eli Goldworthy was _never _nervous. That annoyed him. She annoyed him. She annoyed him with how much he felt out of control when he was around her. When she was near, she tugged and lifted off his mask, and he didn't know how to feel about that.

"Anything look good?" He asked, peering over her shoulder. As he watched her, he let his hands slip on top of her slim shoulders. His thumbs brushed her neck, exciting goose bumps. He could feel the artery in her neck pulse quicker and quicker. Serves her right, Eli smirked. She made him nervous plenty of times. This was just his payback. She squirmed and Eli smirked even more. Definitely served her right!

"Mmm," Clare had a very picky taste in movies. Most of the movies in the case were horror and campy gore flicks. But she had always wanted to watch a horror movie. It had been her secret guilty desire, but she had no one to watch them with her and she was not about to watch one alone.

"This one," she pulled the first Saw movie out of its protective plastic sheet.

"Really?" Eli was shocked. Saint Clare had picked his favorite movie out of the whole series. He adored the Saw movies. As maniacal as it was, he loved the thought and time put into the contraptions of terror and pain. Sure it was awful what those people went through, but he thought that Jigsaw was a genius.

"Yeah," Clare nodded, "I've always wanted to see it."

"You'll be scared," Eli smirked at her, "Good thing you have me here to protect you."

Clare stuck her tongue out at him and he smirked even more before popping the disk into the DVD player. He sauntered over and took a seat next to her. Close enough to put his arm around her shoulders.

Clare sighed, relaxed, and instinctively put her head on top of his chest, listening to his breathing. She noticed it got a tad sharper when she laid her head down and smiled at this. So she made him as nervous as he made her. She decided that that would be important to remember.

Eli played with her hair as the movie began. The dirty bathroom scene was familiar. The tub, the "dead" body, the two men tied by chains. The flimsy saw. Eli moved his hand from just playing with her hair to tucking it behind her ear. Clare shivered and Eli smirked. He loved causing this reaction from her.

Clare was enthralled with the movie, but she couldn't help but enjoy Eli's touch as he played with her hair. He was quite obnoxious though as he leaned forward and blew into her ear. Clare giggled and smacked him in the chest. Eli smirked as usual.

The movie's scenes unfolded. The horror was gruesome but Clare found herself loving this movie more and more. She couldn't describe it, but she found the premise fascinating. This Jigsaw person was ingenious. Sickening, but ingenious.

Clare snuggled more against his chest, and Eli couldn't help but smile.

"You're such a cuddlebug!" he laughed, and poked her gently in the side, causing her to squeal. Eli grinned again, "What Clare? What's wrong?" He continued to poke her as she giggled and squirmed in his lap. He covered her with his arm and held her down as his fingers danced across her sides and stomach. He loved listening to her giggle, her laugh. She needed to laugh after what happened earlier.

"Geeze, Clare," Eli teased, "Only sick, demented people would laugh during a Saw movie."

Clare stuck out her tongue at him. He stopped tickling her and held her in his arms lovingly. He loved holding her. He didn't want to ever let go. She relaxed, and snuggled deeper against him. Eli traced gently circles on her back. Every once in awhile, he'd hit a sensitive spot and cause her to squirm some. He memorized those spots. He wanted to memorize everything about her – the shade of blue of her eyes, how many freckles she had dotting her nose, the exact cinnamon color of her hair, her ticklish spots, her giggle, the scent of her raspberry lotion. He wanted to memorize it all. She was an open book just inviting him to read.

The movie carried on and the two of them sat, cuddled together on the couch. Clare was in such bliss sitting next to him, she barely noticed the "dead" body rise and the end of the movie wrap up. She was too busy concentrating on how perfect everything felt.

"Blue eyes," Eli whispered, "The movie is over."

"Is it?" Clare rolled her shoulders, awakening herself from the movie, "I hadn't noticed."

Eli then did something surprising, he leaned down and kissed her on top of her head.

"Come on, Clarebear – it's getting late. I'll get you some blankets and pillows."

He pushed her gently, allowing himself room to stand up. She leaned against the futon and smiled. If only her life could be as perfect as it was this last hour and a half all the time…


	9. Chapter 8  so mixed up with chapters

Author's note: some of you have expressed concern that I don't follow the facts of Degrassi. But the truth is, I just don't watch the show anymore. I got into it for awhile, but things got busy. I adore Clare and Eli but I just don't follow the show. Even in stories in which I do follow the fandom, I still make some stuff up to help the story's plot. That's why I change some stuff up because it helps move the story along and fit it into the plot I am writing. By the way, this chapter is a little smutty, pushing lemon. Think of it as a lemon pie – still sweet but just a little tart

CHAPTER SEVEN: SWEET DREAMS

"Here you go," Eli put the blankets and pillow down on the futon next to Clare, "Want me to tuck you in?"

She nodded her reply, somehow not finding her voice; it had caught in her throat. Eli helped her lower the futon, then proceeded to help her lie down after adjusting the pillow. He tucked the sheets all around her until she was snuggled in. Clare felt like a little kid, being all snuggled in tight under the covers.

"Good night, Blue Eyes," Eli again kissed the top of her head, "Sweet dreams."

Clare closed her eyes as he walked around the kitchen some, getting a drink of water. It was late, but neither one of them felt like sleeping much. Clare couldn't help but wonder what it was about Eli that caused her to be so nervous around him. She felt like a silly little girl with a crush. She was so nervous around him. Her heart beat so fast and her pulse raced. She couldn't speak sometimes and her stomach always churned. But then there was that other feeling as well.

That warm feeling that takes over you. It's comforting but it still frightened her. Eli had such an effect on her –and the little devil knew it. He loved teasing her and watching her squirm. He knew he made her nervous and he played on that. But she made him nervous as well.

She heard his breath tighten, she felt his heart race. She wasn't the only one that didn't know what to do. But he was more in control of things. He didn't let it get to him like she did. He was still cool and calm, but there was something hidden under there.

But they were just friends, Clare reminded herself. Then thought, well if that was true, why would I have to remind myself? They were friends but they were more than that. They were so close to one another. He took care of her. He let her confide in him, he washed her wounds, he took her in, he tucked her in. "Friends" don't do those things.

Some friends, but not any she knew.

No, Eli was definitely different. He broke all the rules. Clare, who never really was serious about guys before, was head over heels. But head over heels with what?

Meanwhile, in his bedroom, Eli paced back and forth, swearing he'd wear down the carpet by the time the night was through. He just couldn't believe that Clare was asleep right outside his door. He couldn't believe she had put her head on his chest and he couldn't believe how extremely nervous or how badly he wanted her in his room.

He wanted to crawl into bed with her, he wanted to hold her in his arms as they fell asleep. He wanted her to be the last thing he saw before falling asleep, and the first thing he saw when waking up.

She was just a few yards away, saying, "well, what are you waiting for?"

Did she want him just as badly as he wanted her? He couldn't stand it anymore. He finally threw the door open and walked over to the futon. Clare opened her eyes and looked at him, confused.

"You are coming into my room and we are going to cuddle, alright?" Eli demanded. Clare couldn't help but smile; even when he tried to be sweet, he couldn't break his shell.

"Make me," Clare smirked back, daring him.

"Oh, Missy, you don't know what you just got yourself into."

He picked her up, much to her surprise carried her into his bedroom like a groom does his bride. He tossed her onto the bed like a sack of potatoes. Clare glared at him.

"I was perfectly comfortable…"

"Shut up, Blue Eyes, we both know you want to be in here."

Clare turned a bright shade of beet read. This caused Eli to smirk even more, and that smirk turned into a grin. He'd made Saint Clare blush. Eli for the win, he wanted to do a fist pump but decided to just tease her instead.

"What?" He smirked again, "Don't tell me I just made Saint Clare blush."

"Don't call me that," Clare bit back sourly, but they both knew she didn't mean it. Yes, the nickname annoyed her to no end, but they both had caught on quickly that she loved the nicknames he had given her over the course of their friendship.

"I'll call you what I want," Eli retorted, "Now then, I don't know about you, but I want to go to bed. Get comfortable and if you hog any of my sheets, don't hold me responsible for kicking you."

Clare stuck her tongue out at him again and returned the gesture. She covered herself up in his navy blue sheets and leaned back against the extra pillow. She was nervous as all get out. She had never slept with a boy before. She kind of liked it, the thought of just cuddling as they fell asleep. But that didn't mean she wasn't scared to death. It was the closest she'd ever been for that long next to Eli. The thought terrified her.

Eli crawled in next to her, and looked up at the ceiling. Their silence gave away their nerves and Eli decided he was exhausted of the awkwardness. He and Clare could talk about anything and he chose to break the silence by asking:

"So, what's on your mind?"

"What's on my mind?" Clare rolled over to face him. Their noses were practically touching. The butterflies fluttered in her stomach, turning to huge moths. She tried to keep her pulse under control but her heart felt as though it would crash through her chest at any given moment. She could, of course, answer with an honest answer: that she was thinking about her parents, she was scared for her mother, she was scared of her father, she dint know what would happen to her, and she was scared of losing Eli. But she chose to answer instead with, "That your breath stinks."

"Oh," Eli smirked, his smirk turned into a laugh, "You're gonna pay for that comment."

He grabbed Clare and pulled her into his arm, binding her there, and viciously began to tickle her. She laughed and kicked and squealed and squirmed but Eli wasn't going to let go that easily. She needed to pay for saying that. With a swift movement, he switched positions and soon, she was lying on her back and he was straddling her waist, not showing any mercy.

Clare continued to thrash around, not giving up though she knew it was pointless. Eli was cruel and he was not going to let her off the hook that easily. It was torture and he wasn't going to quit. Clare was out of breath and amazed and angry at herself for how much she enjoyed this.

Once she had all that she could take and then some (Eli enjoyed every bit of torturing her) he stopped. He looked down at Clare and she looked up at him. Both were out of breath.

It was a light went off in both their heads. Eli leaned down – still holding Clare captive – and kissed her passionately. Their tongues intertwined and Clare didn't bother to stop or push him away. She liked this, more than liked this. As they kissed, she couldn't help but pray that they never stopped. He pulled away and brought his lips down again, biting and sucking at her lower lip causing her to moan. He smirked at this. She liked it, he could tell.

He decided to test something and as he was kissing, trailed his fingers down her neck and chest to her stomach. She squirmed a bit and smiled into their kiss. He played with the hem of her baggy nightshirt. He wanted it off. But the question was, did she?

Clare felt the vein in her neck go wild. It was seizing and she knew her body was begging for this. But she had never let a guy touch her in this way. She had never been naked in front of a guy ever. The thought frightened her and she suddenly felt foolish for being so scared of just cuddling with him.

Eli gave her the puppy dog eyes and Clare melted. She wanted more than anything to let him but then again, she knew if she did, that would be it – there would be no turning back.

This was Eli, she reminded herself, and she trusted him.

He tugged at the hem again, and Clare didn't think for once, all she did was nod. And that surprised her. What had she just done?

Eli grinned, trying to calm the butterflies in his stomach and show her he wasn't as nervous as he was. He pulled up the nightshirt carefully to her stomach. He didn't know how much she was willing to go and he was willing to be patient and careful. She trusted him and he didn't want to break that trust. He gently raked his fingers across her stomach causing her to giggle and lift her hips up towards him. She was so beautiful; Eli couldn't help but feel as if she was the most perfect girl in the world. Everything about her was just so beautiful.

He next lifted the shirt up even more to the top of her ribs. He kissed each rib and the middle where her chest met her stomach. Clare moaned softly again, still embarrassed and turning red from her reaction. Was this normal to feel this way?

Eli then slid one finger up the nightshirt to her breast. He played around one of them, drawing little circles. He watched her eyes the whole time to make sure this was what she wanted. As she sighed and closed her eyes, he knew the answer was yes.

Clare sighed and closed her eyes, thinking of how much she enjoyed this. It scared her how much she enjoyed this. His touch was electrifying. She didn't know what to do with herself except sit back and relish each second. Just as she was relaxing and closing her eyes, she felt a sharp pinch of her nipple. Clare gasped and whimpered as Eli continued to squeeze with his fingertips. She felt the throbbing and the swelling. Eli smirked again as she moaned.

"Am I hurting you?" He asked genuinely. The last thing he wanted to do was to hurt her. He was just as nervous as she was and just as inexperienced. All he knew was based off of Shawn's videos he sometimes left around, and that Eli watched out of curiosity.

"No," Clare lied. The truth was it did hurt, but not in a painful way. She felt guilty for enjoying it. Eli worked his way to the other one and squeezed hard. Clare bucked upward and he grinned down at her, liking the fact that he caused her to do so.

He enjoyed having this control over her. She was completely wrapped around his little finger. And she knew it too. Eli figured she needed to be loved and feel good after the torture she had endured at the hands of her father. The girls in the videos seemed to enjoy themselves. He wanted Clare to feel that way too. He wanted her happiness. Her pleasure. He craved it.

He worked his hands down to the boy-shorts she had on. He looked at her again, questioning her if she wanted to go on. If at any given time she didn't, he would stop instantly. He cared for her and didn't want to do anything to her to make her feel as if he didn't. Eli didn't want to hurt her or lose her trust. And he was scared to death as well.

Clare bit her lower lip, contemplating his request. She was so scared but she nodded. Eli decided he didn't want to go too far, and just slid his hand down and felt the outside of her shorts. She gasped a bit and so did he at what he had felt. He blushed a bit and so did she. They both didn't know what to do. Eli decided to just trace his fingers on her like he had on her stomach and back. She seemed to like that earlier and it wouldn't be going too far. He liked to break the rules, but not when it came to something like this. Clare held all the cards. Though he was in charge and she was putty in his hands, all she had to do was say no, and he'd cuddle next to her as they fell asleep.

She gasped as fingers worked over her shorts. She was still embarrassed by the feeling that swept over her. She couldn't describe it. Ali had told her plenty – almost too much – about her and Johnny after their first time. Ali had told her it was normal to feel this way. That it was completely normal and every girl felt like this.

But Clare was still apprehensive. She always thought that if she'd ever let a boy touch her, she'd think it was too far and ask him to stop. After all, she didn't have the nickname Saint Clare for nothing. And yet here she was, lying with Eli on top of her, letting him touch her in her most protected areas. Why?

Was it because she trusted him? Yes, there was that, but there was something else too. Clare suddenly realized that she had wanted this. She didn't picture it quite like this, but she did want to share something intimate with Eli. If anyone was going to be the first, she would like it to be him. Their closeness and their friendship was so strong. She trusted him.

She felt herself getting warm and she felt as if she was getting more and more…what did Ali refer to it as? Turned on?

Eli grinned, "Someone is enjoying herself," he observed.

Clare realized her thighs were moist and instantly blushed. Eli kissed the top of her forehead, "Just tell me when you want me to stop," he encouraged, "all you have to do is say the word and I will. Trust me on that."

"I know," Clare nodded, "but…I don't want you to stop."

Eli grinned, "Your wish is my command."

He pulled down the boy shorts and continued what he had been doing only without them. Clare writhed and Eli knew he must be doing something right. He memorized what caused her to moan and what caused her to squirm. He wanted to memorize every movement that he made that caused Clare to act so…

Before he knew what he was saying, Eli moved towards her ear and whispered, "I love you Clare."

"I love you too, Eli," Clare smiled at him earnestly.

Eli grinned, and continued as Clare moaned and shook, "God, she said through a shaky voice, I love you so much."

"You're so beautiful," Eli said honestly, "so incredibly beautiful."

Afterwards, they both laid back on the pillows, their noses touching and smiling deeply at one another. Eli rubbed her back gently and Clare kisses his lips modestly.

"I can't believe I did that," she giggled self-consciously, "I've never…"

"Me either," Eli smiled back at her, "But we will learn together okay? And we'll work up to what you feel comfortable with. I never want to hurt you Clare. I love you too much to hurt you. Why, it'd break my heart."

The next morning, Clare awoke to feeling of a kiss on top of her forehead. She smiled and opened her eyes to see Eli standing over her.

"Hello, sleepyhead."

"Hi," she yawned and stretched.

"I have breakfast waiting for you."

"Thank you."

"Sure thing. I'll drive us to school after we eat. I might have burned the eggs a bit but I tried."

"I'm sure it will be delicious."

Clare was still blushing a little and was paying close attention to a thread sticking out of the comforter.

"Look," Eli sat down next to her, "about last night…"

"I liked it," Clare said, "honestly I did." She looked up at him with those big eyes and Eli knew she had by the look in her eyes.

"But…?" He prodded, "just tell me. I want what you want, love."

Clare blushed at the nickname.

"You blush a lot," Eli nudged her playfully, causing her cheeks to turn an even deeper shade of red.

"Don't tease me," she looked down at the thread again.

"But you make it so easy."

"You're so obnoxious."

"So are you," he stuck his tongue out at her, but then added seriously, "I think we might have gone too fast. I am not used to this kind of thing either. I don't want to ruin what we have. And I know your purity means a lot to you," he traced a finger around the silver ring she wore, "and I don't want to do anything you don't want to."

"You thought we went too fast too?" Clare looked up at him, shocked.

"Yeah," he nodded, "Truth is…oh God! I can't believe I am about to say this but…the truth is…I have no clue what I am doing. I just know from watching a few of Shawn's videos and…"

"You little porn addict," Clare teased.

"Hey, I am the one that does the teasing around here," Eli wagged a finger at her, "But really…I mean…even I…I thought it was too much."

Clare hugged him tightly, "I am so glad you feel that way too," she said gratefully, "Most guys…"

"Clare," Eli glared at her, "tell me you know me better than that to think I am like most guys."

"I do," Clare bit her bottom lip, "you are so incredibly different. I can't even describe…"

"Hush," it was his turn to blush.

"Am I making you blush?" Clare nudged him and he stuck a tongue out at her again.

"No! It's just…warm in here."

Clare knew better, "Well, Mr. Goldsworthy, in that case, I happen to think that you are the most amazing and wonderful and kind and caring guy in the whole world. I think you are so incredibly wonderful and…"

"Shut up," Eli shuffled his feet on the carpet, turning more and more a brighter shade of red.

"Make me," Clare dared.

"Okay," Eli kissed her.

Once they pulled away, Clare added, "and another thing…"

"Oh goodness," Eli rolled his eyes.

"I think any girl would be lucky to have you as her boyfriend."

"Well…" Eli blushed again, hating that she made him do so, "thing is…I already have a girl friend."

"What?" Clare gasped, "How dare you…oh you sickening pig…oh my God!"

"Clare…"

"What?" She shouted, her face getting hot, her whole body flaring with anger.

"Don't be a butthead," Eli smirked, "my girlfriend…is you."

Author's Note: Okay…so maybe that was more straight lemon juice instead of lemon pie lol if you didn't like it, I'm sorry. I've always wanted to try my hand at this and if you didn't like it, I'm sorry. They were still sweet and loving, which is what I planned for. And the rest of the story will just be pretty fluffy and mushy lol but still with dark undertones. Any other intimate scenes will be "fade to black moments" and I won't go into detail. Like I said, I am sorry if you didn't like it. But I promise, this is as GRAPHIC as it's going to get as far as scenes like this go. I promise.


	10. Chapter Nine: Bet of Saints and Sinners

Author's Note: Gaah! You all must hate me! Why is it that I can never, ever keep up with a story? I make promises of updates and I always break them, and can hardly ever finish a story – no matter how much I love it. But I am trying with this one, I promise. I am trying. I do love Clare and Eli so very much!

Chapter Nine (I accidentally called Chapter Eight, Chapter Seven. So I had two Chapter Sevens. This is Chapter Nine, really)

After eating the crispy scrambled eggs (Clare had _no idea_ how in the world scrambled eggs could possibly be crispy, but Eli had found a way to make them so) she decided it'd be best to call her mom.

"Why?" Eli asked, after she relayed the idea to him.

"She must be worried sick," Clare explained, "I have never just left without telling them goodbye. They need to know where I am."

"Why isn't she worried sick when your dad is kicking your ass?" Eli rolled his eyes.

"That's not fair," Clare whined, "She cares a lot! She's just…she's going through a lot right now too and I am sure she cares, she just has a lot on her plate and…"

"You're making excuses for her."

"Well, she _is_ my mother! She _loves_ me, Eli. She always has."

"You said that about your father."

"Well, I know she does. I _know_ it, Eli. She loves me and it breaks her heart that he's hurting me. Like it breaks my heart that he's hurting her."

"Why didn't she stop him?"

"Because he'd hurt her too. You don't get it…."

Clare jumped at the sound of ceramic against steel. Eli had thrown the plates into the sink, and broken bits were strewn about the counter top. He glanced at the mess and hissed a curse.

"_You think I don't get it_?" His voice was rising, and so was his heartbeat, "You think I have no idea what you are going through?"

"Eli…"

"Shut up, Clare! You think that my life has been so damn _easy_? Why do you think I live with Shawn, _huh_? Why is that, _smart one_? _Huh_? Explain it to me."

"Eli…"

"Explain it to me. Why am I living with my older brother? Why is it that my brother had to drop out of school and take up a job as a mechanic in order to support us? Why is it that he had to leave University and his scholarship to the engineering school in order to play house? Why is it that he busts his butt working twelve hour days for little pay? Why is it that we can't really afford much other than what we need to have?"

"Eli…"

"Because my dad used to hit us around too. When Shawn was eighteen, he left for college, leaving me alone with mom and dad. We used to have it tough, but he'd always take it for me. Like, if Dad was about to hit me, Shawn would jump it and take the hit. But when he wasn't there…Dad had a lot to make up for on me. I was sixteen. Shawn came home to visit after for Christmas break and saw the bruises. He got some lawyer that specializes in helping kids out, and since I was sixteen, I could choose to legally leave my parents and live with Shawn."

"Eli…"

"Let me finish," his voice softened, "I moved in with Shawn and have been here ever since. My parents live pretty far away, and don't bother us much anymore. I haven't seen them in over a year. Sometimes I do miss my mom, but what did she ever do for me? So, when people ask, I say my parents died and I live with my brother. But the truth is, I had it as tough if not more so, as you, Blue Eyes. Your dad ever use a belt on you?"

"No," Clare's face was as white as sheet, translucent as a ghost's, "No, he didn't."

"Mine did. His favorite weapon of choice," Eli let out a dry laugh, "You don't know pain until you're being hit with the buckle end of a belt. I'd throw up afterwards. I couldn't lie down. I couldn't really shower. _Everything_ hurt. Clothes hurt. Breathing hurt. What your dad does to you is sick and wrong, Clare. But I do get it. I get the embarrassment and the fear. I understand what it is like. I understand what it is like to have parents that don't give a shit about you."

"My mom…"

"Your mom," Eli rolled his eyes, "Call her if you want. That's your choice."

Clare suddenly became interested in the peeling purple polish on her thumbnail. She couldn't meet his gaze. She was too frightened to. She couldn't even imagine what Eli had gone through, and here he was, helping her and being cheerful and bright and happy. He was positive, and wanted her to be strong. Strong like he had to be. Strong like he was.

Clare felt her stomach flip, "Eli…I am so, so sorry."

"Hey, it happens to some of us. I'm not bitter about it anymore. It's done. It's over. I can move on and live my life. Besides, I'd never have met you if none of it had happened. I'd take all the beatings in the world to just see you smile just once."

"Eli," Clare's eyes filled with tears as she stood up from the kitchen table and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around her and both of them sobbed together. Finally, Eli pulled away, and wiped one of her tears away with his thumb.

"Hey, Blue Eyes, call your mom. Let her know you are safe here. I will be out in the car waiting and will drive us to school…if you want to go."

"What do you mean _if_?"

"Well, it _was_ late last night and if you really want to get _all_ dressed and ready to go _and_ force that smile _and_ put on that mask _and_ play that charade, that's fine. But just know, if you don't want to, we could…just hang out."

"Hang out? Like, _skip school_?"

"Don't go into cardiac arrest, St. Clare," Eli chuckled, "I just think you need a fun day. We'd do whatever you wanted, go wherever you want. It's your day, Blue Eyes."

"Go out to the hearse," Clare grinned, "I'll let you know what I decide after I talk to my mom."

Eli jokingly bowed to her before snatching his keys off the table and heading out the door.

Clare dug her cellphone out of her purse and pressed her mom's name under CONTACTS. It started to dial and she felt her heart sink to her stomach. Her throat seemed to clamp up and she started to pace as the phone rang and rang.

"Clare?"

"Mom?"

"Oh Clare!" Her mom sounded so relieved, that Clare relaxed a bit, "Where have you been? I am so worried!"

"Mom," Clare gulped, working up her courage, "I-I went over to a friend's house last night to stay. Honestly, I am scared to be under the same roof as Daddy and I needed to get away. Please don't be angry. It's just…I didn't feel safe."

"Clare, you can't just leave without telling us where you went. We were worried _sick_! And you know how your father is. He is just strict, and when you purposefully get in his way and aggravate him, it only makes matters worse. He gets stressed and when he is stressed, he lashes out."

"Mom, you know it's not my fault. He beat me Mom. _You know he did_."

"He's just strict with us, Clare. You have to not agitate him so much. Now, when you come home tonight, I expect an apology."

"You want _me_ to apologize to _him_?" Clare nearly choked on her own saliva, "Mom, you can't be serious."

"I am. I want you to apologize and tell him how sorry you are for how you acted and for making him behave in such an aggressive manner."

"So I am supposed to apologize for making him hit me?" Clare couldn't believe what she was hearing. The apartment began to spin upside down and she felt dizzy, "Mom…"

"I mean it, Clare. It'd help everything and I know he will forgive you. Just come home and everything will be alright. I promise."

"You can't promise that. Mom, I-I can't do this. I can't live with him anymore."

"And just where do you think you will live, huh? You can't just take off. You have no job. No money. Where will you go?"

"I don't know, but I do know I can't live under that roof anymore. Not with him. I'm not safe there."

"You're only in danger because you put yourself in danger. It's like you want to anger him and make him hurt you. Is that what you want? Because it seems like you do so on purpose. You want him to be angry. You push all his buttons and when you finally get what's coming to you, you run away and cry about it. You deserved your punishment, Clare."

"_Punishment_? Mom, punishment is being grounded, not being beaten so hard your lip tears."

"Clare, you're overreacting, as always. Just come home and apologize and we will be a happy family again. We will even go out to eat tonight together at your favorite restaurant. Just come home, baby. Come home and make this right."

Clare sunk down onto the futon, and cradled her head in her hand, "Mom, I can't do that. I am eighteen years old and I can legally be on my own. It's not my fault, the way he treats me. It's not your fault either."

"I get what I deserve, Clare. Your father is a good man. He knows what he is doing. Sometimes, we just need to learn to comply to his way and everything will be fine…"

"Mom, nothing will ever be fine again."

"Yes it will, Clare. Your father and I, despite your defiance, still love you very much."

"_You…make…me…sick_," Clare felt tears stinging her eyes as she spat out those words as if they were a sour taste in her mouth.

"Excuse me?"

"You make me sick, Mother. I can't believe how you can sit there and say these things to me. You, of all people! You're my mom! My mom! And you act like…like I am nothing to you. I'm done. I am done with all of this."

"Clare Elizabeth…"

"Goodbye, Mom."

"Clare, don't you dare hang up on me! If you hang up on me, I will…"

Clare didn't even let her finish her threat. She tossed the phone back into her purse and stood from the futon. She went over to the bathroom to check out her face and to wipe away the tears that had just stained her cheeks.

The bruises were yellowed, and her lip was scabbed over. Her eye was still swollen and it still hurt to blink. She grabbed some makeup from her bag, and applied it as thickly as she could. She brushed her hair and changed into a different t-shirt and splashed on some body spray before grabbing her purse and heading out the door to meet Eli.

Her makeup didn't fool him though. He had gotten so good at seeing through the masks she would put one. One look was all it took for him to know that something was far from being right.

"Clare, what the hell happened in there?" He asked, barely giving her time to sit down.

"My mom," Clare sighed, buckling her seatbelt, "She said it's my fault my dad has been hitting me. She says I should come home and that I have to apologize to him for making him hit me."

"_Good Lord_!" Eli threw his head back against the leather headrest.

"I can't live there anymore," Clare furiously wiped away a tear, "I have nowhere to go…"

"Shut up," Eli sighed, kissing her on top of her head, "You always have a place to go. I'll talk to Shawn tonight when he gets off work and see what we can do."

"Oh, Eli!"

"Don't get excited. He makes the final decision. But I am pretty positive he will say that it's okay for you stay with us. You are eighteen, Clare. You don't need to live with them."

"Thank you so much, Eli. That really…wow…that really means a lot to me."

"Where are we off to?" He asked, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel.

"Hmm…well…I think it is best if we just go to school and get our homework turned in and our work done. I just can't possibly skip class…"

Eli turned slowly and glared at her, "You _can't_ be serious."

"And we can study together for our English test and go over The Great Gatsby and…" Clare couldn't contain herself anymore and she started laughing.

"Oh you little…"

"Just drive," Clare giggled, "Drive, I don't care where. Just us – you and me – and the road and no problems to think about or worry over. Just drive away from here."

"I can do that," Eli grinned. He turned the car on and pulled out of the parking lot, "You know, for a minute there, you had me worried."

"Oh really?" Clare batted her eyelashes, "You know, I'm not as innocent as I look, Mr. Goldsworthy."

"Clearly."

"I can be a rebel."

"Is that so?"

"Mmhmm," Clare grinned, "I can be! Why, on top of skipping school today, I didn't even floss my teeth this morning!"

"Officer, I need back up. Mayday, mayday! Backup requested. I've got a 40939, on Redbriar Road. There's a crazy woman on the loose! Calling in backup! Mayday, mayday! I need to get the Shady Lanes Insane Asylum over here STAT! One of their patients has escaped and is on the rampage!"

"Oh shut up!" Clare laughed, "I can be a rebel."

"Yeah right," Eli grinned, "I'll believe it when I see it."

"Is that a bet I am hearing?"

"Fine," Eli thought it over a minute, "I bet you twenty bucks that St. Clare can't do something 'bad' today without feeling embarrassed or guilty or without blushing."

Clare bit her lower lip, "You're on!"

"Like I said, I'll believe it when I see it."


	11. Chapter 10: Eli is Scared of What?

Chapter Ten: Eli Is Scared of What…?

Eli strummed his fingers on the steering wheel. _Damn it, Clare_ – he was a nervous wreck and he hated that. What had happened the night before…she had made him lose complete control. She had had completely taken away his ability to think things through and be…well, cool. He had wanted her so badly last night and he could have had her. And it was that thought that terrified him.

Clare was so precious to him. He didn't want to break her or ruin her in any way. The thought having sex with her…Eli paled at the very mention of it. But why then, did he want her so terribly much. Why did she have this increasing pull on him?

On top of that…Shawn was going to kill him about those damn plates.

Eli sighed, turned up the radio, and rolled down the window. Clare was his whole world. She was everything to him – his first thought in the morning, and his last thought before bedtime. He adored her. He had had had sex once before and it was messy and painful and ended up drawing a wedge between them. He didn't want to do that to Clare. He couldn't bear the thought of it.

He turned and looked at her. She was content, raking her fingers through her hair, humming along to whatever song was on the radio. She looked so…happy. And then there was the makeup. The splotchy makeup that tried desperately to curtain welted bruises, a torn lip. Eli wanted so badly to march over to her house and punch her dad right in the nose. He deserved it. But then Eli remembered his own father. That look upon his face when the courts said it would be okay for Eli to live with Shawn and have no contact with his father again. His father looked…defeated? But defeated wasn't the right word. Completely and utterly crushed, buried under the weight of his own actions was more like it. Eli swore he saw something glistening in his father's eye before he left the court room, never to see his son again.

That image haunted Eli and was the subject of many unwanted dreams. Why would his father be so sad at losing the son he treated worse than scum? Eli shook the thought from his head. It wasn't important. Parents weren't important. He got along just fine without them, and so would Clare. He would talk to Shawn – after he stopped screaming about the broken plates – and ask him if Clare could move in. They had the space, and she loved cooking and baking. She'd have so much fun living with them and be perfectly safe away from her father and that piece of shit mother of hers. Eli fumed at the thought of her telling Clare it was her fault and that she needed to apologize.

Clare never needed to apologize to anyone. Clare was perfect. An angel. Her parents couldn't see that. Her own parents couldn't see what a wonderful girl they have as a daughter…Eli could see though. He could see sunshine as she smiled, a thunderstorm when she cried, a summer breeze hitting wind chimes when she laughed…she was perfect. Absolutely perfect…

He had no idea where he was driving, just that Clare had asked him to drive. It was her day. Maybe he should ask her.

"Where do you want me to take you, my princess," He asked in a humored British accent.

Clare giggled, "Well, my fine knight, I haven't the slightest thought. Perhaps we can run away to the moon together."

"I don't think my faithful steed, Morty, can handle a trip to the moon, m'lady."

"How about just a picnic then."

"I didn't bring any food," Eli suddenly felt embarrassed and stupid. Maybe he should have brought something for them…how could he have been so careless…

"It's fine," Clare placed a hand on his thigh, causing shivers of electricity to run through his spine, "We can stop and get a few things from the store. Let's go to the one on East Briar – my parents don't shop at that one. We can some stuff for sandwiches and sodas and chips and go sit out by the lake and feed the ducks…"

"_Ducks_?"

"Yes, ducks…" Clare looked at him as if he had sprouted a second head, "You…you aren't afraid of ducks are you?"

"No," Eli laughed, turning up the music – which Clare promptly turned down.

"You _are_ scared of ducks! Eli Goldsworthy is scared of ducks!"

He shot her a sideways glance and tried to look angry at her – but he could never truly be angry at her – and it only caused her to laugh more. Eli blushed and pulled Morty onto the shoulder of the highway.

"Don't make me turn this car around, Missy."

"Who's afraid of the big bad duck…the big bad duck…the big bad duck…Eli's afraid of the big bad…"

Clare didn't have time to finish. With an evil smirk playing at his lips, Eli lunged and began to tickle her. Clare shrieked and tried to squirm out of his grasp.

"_Eli_!"

"I'm not afraid of ducks. They're just…creepy."

"Creepy?" Clare giggled, "How are…are…ducks…_ELI_!"

"What?" He flashed his best "innocent-puppy-dog-eyes" look and continued tickling her, "They are. They have beady little eyes and webbed feet…WEBBED FEET! _Disgusting_!"

"Who's afraid of the big bad duck…_ELI STOP IT_!"

"Stop what?" Eli flashed the look again, "I'm not doing anything. You just have gone into a fit of hysteria for no apparent reason what so ever. You're scaring me, Clare Bear. Perhaps I should call that insane asylum I mentioned earlier and have you…"

"_ELI_!"

"Detained for further evaluation. I mean…this just isn't normal Clare – for someone to just burst out laughing for no reason what so…"

"I HATE YOU SO MUCH!"

"And now you've become delusional – saying things you don't truly mean…"

"DAMN IT ELI!"

"Ooh add showing signs of Tourette's, possibly on account of…"

"YOU ARE SUCH A PAIN IN THE…"

"Yup, definitely Tourette's. Very peculiar symptoms here, Ms. Edwards. I think I might just have to call that mental institution after all…"

"For yourself. _You_ need a psych evaluation if you're scared of something like a duck!"

"_Excuse me?_" Eli continued his torture, "A duck happened to bite me once when I was younger and it has scarred me for life. I don't need a psych eval. to understand that."

"What did you do to make the duck bite you?"

"Ohh…so it's automatically _my_ fault then? A duck couldn't have just randomly bit me…_I_ had to be antagonizing it?"

"Yes."

Eli stopped tickling her to give her some time to breathe, "I was just trying to feed it," he said, ooching back over to his side of the car, running a hand through his hair to fix any strands that might have fallen out of place, "And it bit me. The little piece of…"

"Eli, I am sure you might have done something to make it hurt you."

"I threw a piece of bread at it, okay, and it bit me for that. I threw it food and the ungrateful thing…"

"How much bread was it?"

"It doesn't matter."

"How much," Clare's voice was commanding, and Eli knew he couldn't lie to her. She had such a pull on him…

"The whole loaf."

"You threw _a whole loaf of bread_ at a duck?"

"Because it wouldn't come near me so I got mad and threw the loaf of bread at it."

Clare couldn't help but giggle, and then just fully laugh at his story. Eli shot her an angry look as she was doubled over laughing, "Hey," he said, "It wasn't like it was my fault here or anything."

"I can't believe you threw a whole loaf of bread at a duck and wondered why he came over and bit you."

"Hey, his bite hurt worse than that loaf of bread did, I can guarantee that!"

"And that is the story as to why Eli Goldsworthy is afraid of ducks?"

"Shut up, let's go to the store and pick up things for the picnic."

"If we get sandwich stuff, I'm holding onto the bread. I don't trust you with loaves of bread."

"Hey…"

"You might just throw it at me."

"I will throw something at you if you keep this up," Eli waggled a finger at her, causing her to stick her tongue out at him.

He threw the car into drive and they headed to the store. Stupid ducks, and stupid Clare for making him tell her why he was scared of ducks. Eli pouted all the way to the store, which caused Clare to glance over at him every so often and stifle a fit of laughter.

He was so cute when he was angry. Clare couldn't help it. But she knew he wasn't really angry. He could never really be angry at her…could he? Clare shook the thought from her head as Morty neared the market. She couldn't believe how much fun she was having with Eli. He was great to her and yeah, they'd always gotten along, but this…maybe it was a good thing – what her dad did to her – because without that, she wouldn't be Eli's girlfriend, and they wouldn't be skipping school together laughing and talking and sharing stories of ducks…

After all…everything happens for a reason.

As they walked through the doors of the grocery store, Eli grabbed a cart.

"You push and I'll hop inside!"

"Don't be a moron," Clare rolled her eyes, "You aren't two."

"Please?"

"No," she laughed, "I can't believe you'd even want to…"

Eli ignored her and began to climb inside the metal basket.

"You won't fit," Clare objected, but he still wiggled his way inside. Surprisingly, he did fit, quite well.

"Well, this is embarrassing," Clare sighed and looked around at the people entering the store who were staring at them, "People are looking at us."

"Let them look. No onward," Eli commanded, pointing forward, "to the center of the earth!"

Clare, laughing, gave in to his command. She pushed the cart through the store over towards the bakery aisle where they got some white bread; then over to the deli to pick up slices of turkey and Swiss cheese.

After they had everything they needed, the paid out and headed back to Morty.

"So the lake?" Eli asked, helping Clare unload the groceries.

"If you aren't too scared. I mean, if you're going to have some sort of Post-Traumatic Stress breakdown, perhaps we should just…" Eli shot her a look, "Okay, okay I'll shut up about the ducks."

"Good," Eli pulled her into his arms, "Let's go have our picnic, love."

He kissed her on the forehead before they both climbed into Morty and took off for the lake.

Author's Note: Not the best, I admit but I hope you still enjoyed!


	12. Chapter 11: Clare's Plan

Chapter Eleven

"I believe we had a bet," Eli smirked as he laid the blanket out over the crisp grass.

"About me not being able to be bad?" Clare rolled her eyes, "Eli, honestly…I mean I know I have a reputation for being a saint but I really am not that much of a goodie-good. That being said," she sighed, "I am not just going to do something…deviant all because I feel like I have to prove something to you."

Eli smirked, "You're just chicken."

"Duck."

"Ahh…where!" Eli jumped. Clare giggled, "You are such a pain in the butt."

Clare sat down on the blanket and began to make the sandwiches, "So are you sometimes. It's a fact I've just come to accept."

Eli made a fact at her, and bit into the sandwich she handed him, "Yum. So, other than this picnic, is there anything else you want to do today? Anything at all?"

Clare thought it over for a bit as she nibbled her sandwich, "No," she shook her head, "I honestly don't know. I just want things to be…normal. I want my parents to not fight and I want my dad to stop hurting us. I want my mom to be my mom again. I just want…"

Clare didn't even realize she was crying until Eli reached up to wipe the tear off her cheek, "Nothing is normal, Clare. No matter how normal something seems, it never is."

"I guess," she sighed, looking out across the water, "I just…it's hard thinking back on the times when things were okay, and knowing they'll never be that way again. We used to go on family vacations. We used to go on road trips and travel and we'd blast music and my dad would sing along to show tunes," Clare smiled at the memory.

"My dad used to take Shawn and me to the movies every weekend. Before he started drinking. He'd go all out too – popcorn and candy and the biggest sodas I'd ever seen."

"Why do things change?"

"No idea," Eli stretched out on the blanket, "but what I do know, is that you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

Clare blushed, "Eli."

"Well, it's true."

Clare laid down next to him, and he pulled her close to him, "Clare, I mean it. You're beautiful and you're perfect. I know your life seems really messed up right now, but just know that I'm here and I am not going anywhere. I promise you. I'm here and always will be."

"Thank you," Clare kissed him sweetly, "that means a lot to me, Eli."

"Now," he grinned, "about that bet…"

"Eli!"

"What?" He smirked, "A bet is a bet, Blue Eyes."

Clare rolled her eyes. Eli was positively impossible, "Fine," she sighed, "I just don't know what to do."

"You were the one that suggested this bet, if I remember correctly."

Clare chewed on her lip for a bit while thinking it over, "Get up. We're going to the SuperSave."

"Why?"

"You'll just have to wait and see," Clare grinned mischievously.

Eli raised a curious eyebrow, but didn't press the matter any further. Instead, he helped Clare pack up the picnic and together, they headed towards Morty.

"I'm excited," Clare giggled as Eli backed Morty out of the parking lot.

"Well I'm excited to see what you have up your sleeve," Eli smirked, "watch it be something lame like sneaking into a movie or something…"

"Shut up!" Clare teasingly smacked him on the arm, "although…I haven't ever done that before."

"Remind me to make a list."

"Maybe someday," Clare bit at her thumbnail, "I think you'll like what I have in mind."

"Can't wait."

"It's dangerous. It could get us in big trouble."

"Big trouble? Clare Edwards and 'big trouble' don't really go together," Eli grinned.

He had to admit, he couldn't wait to see what she was planning. She needed to just do something wild and crazy. Eli glanced over at her and saw a smile tugging at her lips. She was happy. Yup, this was exactly what she needed to get her mind off of everything.

Eli, on the other hand, had a million thoughts on his mind. Shawn was going to kill him over that broken dish, and he had to ask if Clare could live with them. It definitely was not going to be fun going home later. Shawn was awesome, but when it came to Eli, he could be pretty strict about certain things. Eli just prayed Shawn would agree to let Clare crash at their apartment.

She desperately needed someplace. She needed out of that house and away from her parents.

"Just you wait," Clare giggled, "I think you'll be pleasantly surprised with what I have in mind."

Author's Note: Short, but I wanted to start a new chapter with Clare's little surprise. Can anyone guess what it might be? Hint: I doubt they have Walmarts in Canada so SuperSave is like a Walmart. Hehe…this is fun!


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